Healthy Communication: What I learned from Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift

By Sara Butler

Tom Hiddleston is my internet boyfriend. OK -- so he doesn’t know this, and much of my loose definition of “boyfriend” involves me sitting in my pajamas drinking coffee while I look online at pictures of him with no shirt on. So, you can imagine my dismay recently when I did my morning internet search for Tom Hiddleston news and was met with pictures of him kissing Taylor Swift. The angels wept, I’m pretty sure.

Don’t get me wrong, Taylor is a nice girl. Plus, I’ve always felt a bit of a kinship between her and myself because, at 5 feet 11, we tall girls have to stick together. Not to mention she’s doing what any woman in her right mind would do, which is to date Tom Hiddleston. So, yeah -- I’ve got nothing but love for the T-Swizzle.

As I set about nursing my imaginary breakup wounds, I started to think about communication in relationships. I mean, we’ve all had failed relationships and have failed at communicating at some point in our lives. I’m the first to admit that one of the most important factors of every healthy relationship is for the other person to know you exist -- so Tom and I were really doomed from the start. I can accept that.

The cornerstone of any relationship, whether it be at work, at school or at home, is communication. Good communication instills confidence, it sets realistic expectations and it just makes things a whole lot easier. Clearly, if I had communicated my feelings to Tom in an unstalker-like fashion, it wouldn’t be Hiddleswift you were hearing about on celebrity gossip sites, but some equally adorable moniker involving a combination of my last name and his. Maybe Butston or Hiddler. But, I digress.

How can we all be better communicators in our own lives? And how can that communication help us to be better chiropractic patients leading to a better quality of life if, indeed, it doesn’t include Tom Hiddleston? I have a few ideas about that!

Improving your Communication Skills

There is nothing in your life that isn’t impacted by communication. It’s an important skill, maybe one of the most important skills you will ever learn. It builds relationships and it helps you to set and achieve goals, but if done poorly it can lead to a whole boatload of trouble for you and the people around you.

How can you be a better communicator? Start with learning how to be a good listener. How can you expect to effectively communicate with someone if you have no clue what they’re talking about? By learning to listen to others you are respecting them and helping to build a good rapport. People like to feel they’re being listened to, after all.

You should also learn to never talk over people – that’s just poor form. What you’re doing when you talk over someone is basically saying you don’t care what they have to say -- and that’s probably not the message you intend to send. For example, I would never talk over Tom Hiddleston. Also, don’t complete someone else’s sentences; you’re commandeering and controlling the conversation, and that doesn’t help the other person feel as if they are on equal footing with you.

Always remember to maintain eye contact, but not in a creepy way. You’re not trying to intimidate someone by staring them down; instead, you’re trying to let them know you hear them, you’re interested, and you’re listening. When you do add your two cents to the conversation, stay on topic and try to be as clear as possible about what you want them to know. Some people don’t feel comfortable being direct, but it’s a skill you should practice because it will save you time and decrease your stress levels.

Better Communication in Chiropractic Care

While learning how to communicate with others in your life is important, it’s never more important than when you’re trying to tell a health care professional, such as your chiropractor, about a medical issue you need help with.

When you see your chiropractor you shouldn’t feel intimidated, but instead comfortable. At The Joint Chiropractic, our chiropractors welcome any questions and concerns you have at any point in your treatment, so ask away! If you can’t express to your chiropractor what is going on and what is bothering you, they can’t treat you appropriately and help you manage your health issues. They’ll want to know your family history, your worries and any symptoms you’re having (including when they started and what makes them better or worse) because you are unique and your treatment plan will reflect that uniqueness. Proper communication, as well as your personal involvement, are keys to getting the most from your care. After all, your health truly is a “joint” effort.

I guess I’ll never really know what could have been with Tom and me. I mean, my whole marriage/husband/kids thing is a real Tom Hiddleston relationship roadblock. We don’t run in the same social circles, either, so I’ll have to be content with watching from afar (again, in a very unstalker-like way!). But, I do practice healthy communication skills in my everyday life and with my chiropractor, so I’m just going to call this whole situation a win. Well, I’ll call it a win after I reveal the topic of this article to my real-life, non-Tom Hiddleston but-no-less-fabulous husband later. You’re the Loki of my life, Honey.

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