Chiropractic Lessons from The Dark Tower

By Sara Butler

Stephen King’s The Dark Tower just released in movie theaters across the country. I will admit that I’m a proud Stephen King fan and nerd. His books continue to scare me years after reading them; I still get a bit freaked out going into hotel bathrooms after The Shining.

I have seen The Dark Tower and I’m here to tell you it’s thrillingly awesome. Though, I don’t think you can go wrong with Idris Elba in anything. Ever. But I’m not here to talk about the tall drink of water that is Idris Elba or even how good the movie is -- I’m here to dispense chiropractic enlightenment. But as I watched this beloved novel come to life before my eyes, I realized that The Dark Tower has some good chiropractic lessons in it that we can all learn from!

Stay Hydrated

Roland is the last of his kind, a gunslinger in search of the man in black (spoiler alert: not Johnny Cash) as well as The Dark Tower itself. He’s traveling through the desert when he collapses from thirst. Roland should know better because even his alternate universe must have a chiropractor around there somewhere -- and any chiropractor will tell you that one of the most important things you can do for your health is to stay hydrated. Rookie mistake, Roland!

Your goal may not be The Dark Tower or the vanquishing of evil forces, but one of your goals is definitely good health. Drinking enough water throughout your day is a big step toward achieving overall health and wellness.

You probably know that your body is made up mostly of water, but did you know that your spine needs water in order to work at its very best? The discs between the bones of your spine that allow for movement and absorb impact need water. If you’re dehydrated, the discs are dehydrated, which means they can’t do their job right. Just like Roland can’t do his job by collapsing from dehydration. Be better than the gunslinger!

Walk Right

There’s a lot of walking in The Dark Tower. A lot of walking. But a quest just wouldn’t be a quest without all the walking to take you where you need to go, and traveling the distance by car just isn’t a very good literary device.

Walking is a great way to keep in shape. It’s low impact and has been found to have a host of benefits for your overall health. To truly get the most out of walking, whether you’re on a quest for the man in black or not, there are a few tips your chiropractor would like you to follow:

  • Wear the right shoes – I’m going to assume Roland had some good, supportive shoes for his journey. Since he doesn’t complain of blisters or knee and hip pain, his shoes are probably spot on.
  • Stand up straight – Roland knows what he’s doing since he carries what he needs around his waist. Packing a backpack too full or carrying items on just one shoulder as you walk is a big mistake that can lead to joint pain and dysfunction down the road.
  • Stretch – This isn’t expressly said in the book series, but again I’ll assume Roland was a stretcher. He may have been able to shoot with his mind but you still have to warm up to be ready for physical activity.

I think we can all agree that there are very practical life lessons to be learned from alternate universes such as the one in The Dark Tower. Just be grateful that you live in a universe in which chiropractic care at The Joint is available whenever you need it. Because you never know when you’ll have to deal with your own man in black.

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