Ever Run Into Lies? How Do You Spot Them?
At some point we all run into lies, big or small. If they are social lies where someone smiles and lies about their weight, that’s OK, but lies that undermine confidences or torpedo relationships really need to be solved.
We need to know what is true and what is not. Whatever we can do to improve our reading of a situation can help us sort it out and keep our balance as we deal with it.
Body Signs Are Clues
Pschologium.com pointed out some body signs that can help us detect lies. If you already know the person and their patterns, then their motions can also be clues. Sudden head jerks or tilts, heavier breathing, rigid posture, overcompensating with too much information, repetitiveness of details and covering the mouth or other parts of the body can all be clues.
Along the way, most of us have devised our own techniques to spot unusual behavior too. I have a friend who sometimes tends to omit parts of a story that do not suit him, and invariably when he tells his version he begins to rub his nose!
Another fellow that I know conducts meetings where there are many issues involved. Invariably when one of the big issues is announced and he does not want to reveal all of the details, he begins to shuffle his papers, and then he announces his version.
Other people become adept at telling funny stories and passing tales along wrapping everything up in clever conversation. Eventually those people do get trapped out or tripped up too as their story details tend to get tangled.
Whenever lying comes up it is usually upsetting. But it can be more upsetting if we don’t deal with it. If the lies damage others or create a loss of trust in relationships, they will continue and create more problems.
Sometimes the lie will play out and reveal itself in the events that follow. Other times you may be able to subtly convey your thoughts with a skeptical look, or a pointed question, provoking a conversation that uncovers what is really going on.
But other times, to make a situation workable you may have to bring the issue up and then talk about it to sort things out.
Not talking it out, simply leads to more confusion and more complications down the road.
Instead, just watch for cues and refine your observations. Then do your best to sort things out calmly. Skip the drama and accusations and just try to establish new ground, to move on with as much openness as possible.