Things We Should Never Say That Just Pop Out
By Sandy Schroeder
At one time or another, we have all opened our mouths and blurted out some upsetting remark that instantly produced a sudden chill and lots of raised eyebrows.
Most people do not intend to embarrass or offend others, but if they are not really reading the other person, it is easy to do.
Travis Bradberry, co-founder of TalentSmart, an agency used by many Fortune 500 companies, talked about this need for emotional intelligence recently as he pointed out the worst offenders and emphasized how much better life can be when we look before we speak and consider the subtle implications of our remarks.
“You must be tired.” – The minute you say this, you are suggesting the person must look awful. Instead ask if things are OK. Now you are reaching out and much more likely to get a positive response.
“That’s what you always say.” – Most of us repeat ourselves but we do not always say the same things. Accusing someone of this tends to close the door and make people angry. Try to outline what the other person often does and ask questions to help solve the issue.
“That’s what I have been telling you.” – When you say this you are implying the other person does not listen or get what you are saying. Instead try to rephrase your thought in a clearer, less challenging way, to keep communication going.
“Whatever!” – Often people say this as they throw up their hands and march off. At that point, the person and the conversation are much less likely to reconnect. Even though you may be totally exasperated, if you want to maintain the relationship, you might just suggest that you talk later, and try to smile.
“It’s your choice.” – Usually it’s better to express an opinion, because the person probably does want to hear what you think. Take the time to talk about the issue and show that you care about the person, leaving the final decision up to them.
“Boy, have you lost weight!” – The dead silence that often follows is never a good sign. Whatever the actual lost weight situation is, calling attention to it seldom works. Instead try saying, “You are looking great.” Then they can tell you if they want to about the weight that they have lost.
Making life work better really can benefit from saying the right thing at the right time. Try to look before you speak, and tread lightly to keep everybody smiling.
To learn more about your health and wellness, see your local chiropractor at The Joint Chiropractic.