Surprising Things that Make Us More Likable
By Sandy Schroeder
Sometimes likability gets mixed up with attractiveness and social skills, but when people are asked what makes people likable their answers are much more direct.
Most people say they find people are likable when they are genuine, humble, responsive and caring.
Dr. Travis Bradberry, co-founder of TalentSmart, an agency that services over 75 percent of Fortune 500 companies, agrees. When he asks people to define likable, they talk about being real. friendly, humble and helpful.
Bradberry says these qualities link to emotional intelligence (EQ), which also pays off on the job. Researchers say a single point jump in EQ can add as much as $1,300 to a paycheck.
Emotional intelligence emphasizes skills that we can use to our advantage. Here are some key suggestions.
Start with a smile – Lean forward and make eye contact. Be enthusiastic. Use the person’s name and let them know you are glad to meet them. Friendliness can turn a routine conversation into a very productive one
Ask good questions – Instead of immediately hitting the other person with your thoughts, take the time to listen, and ask good questions. Their replies can open up the conversation and help you get to know the person. You may earn their respect and come away with a new friend.
Be real – When trust is an issue, nothing else works. Simply be who you are and reach out to connect. Share what you do and let your work speak for you. Most people recognize good intentions when they see them, and often respond with their own. When you build a relationship on mutual trust you can expect good things.
Be open and approachable – Avoid making quick judgments when you meet someone. Keeping an open mind may reveal a totally different person than you expected. When people feel accepted and comfortable they may reach out, too.
Mix focus with friendliness – Sharing serious thoughts and enjoying a relaxed conversation can work together to create the best interactions. You may each come away with positive impressions that will work for future efforts.
Be reliable – As someone gets to know you, being consistent is crucial. People want to know who they are dealing with and what to expect in the future. If they see you as someone who is friendly, direct and real, you have given them some good things to build on.
However you use emotional intelligence and positive skills, always strive for a solid impresson and an upbeat approach. Do what feels comfortable to project who you are and what you have to offer. In response you are apt to get the results you are seeking.
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