Helping Someone Who Doesn't Want to Be Helped
By Randi Morse
There are some people in this world who are natural caregivers. It is in their nature to care for people, helping whenever they can. It can be frustrating when a close friend or family member is struggling and will not let you help. This is especially true if you know that your help could make life easier for your loved one. Not being able to help can leave you feeling powerless. There are many reasons why a person may not want to accept help, but that doesn't make it any easier for those of us on the sidelines. Even if your loved one refuses help, there are some things that you can do to help them move forward and through whatever it is they're going through.
Are You the Best Person?
There are times when we need to look in a mirror to figure out if we are truly the best person to help our loved one with their current situation. How do your interactions with your loved one go? Do you wind up arguing with each other every time you have a discussion, or do things stay peaceful? If you find yourself devolving into an argument every time you talk to your loved one, you might not be the best person to help them. If tempers fly every time you interact, take a step back from the relationship. Look to others who are close to the person to step in and try to help.
Ask Them to Humor You
You feel that your loved one should seek out professional help, but you're not sure how to approach the situation.You don't want to make them upset, but you do want to see them get help. Approach your friend calmly and ask them to humor you with a trip to a professional. Explain that you know there's a good chance but your friend is fine, but request that they humor your concerns by going with you to a professional. If you can get them through the door of a qualified professional, the expert may be able to provide the help that your friend needs.
It's important to remember that while you have compassion for your loved one, ultimately this is their journey. You can offer your support as much as you'd like, but if you push too hard you are going to push your loved one away. Instead of being pushy, let them know that you are there for them whenever they need you and schedule regular check-ins.
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