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How to Avoid Sabotaging Your Confidence

By Sandy Schroeder

We all know the difference when we confidently step into a meeting, or slip in and quietly sit down. Along the way in work situations, we learn what works best for us in maintaining confidence and keeping our footing.

But sometimes we undermine our confidence with steps like these from

Trying to please everyone – Most veterans of the workplace will assure you that you cannot possibly please everyone. But sometimes it is tempting to try. This can leave you in limbo, and even undermine all of the good work you may be doing. Instead, work for open communication that leaves room for lots of opinions. Speak up for your viewpoint, and listen to the ones around you.

Dwelling on problems rather than answers -  You can waste a lot of time and energy worrying about the problem at hand and what the possible repercussions might be. Instead try to thoughtfully look for solutions and be open to suggestions.

Letting drama take the lead – Sometimes it is too easy to get caught up in the office flow of ins and outs, and predictions. I have known people who spent most of their time moving in and out of the current news, always adding fuel to the fire. This is usually largely unappreciated by most, and takes your energy away from where it is needed most, working on the project at hand.

Refusing to embrace change – Sometimes it is just too cozy and comfortable to stay right where you are, and cling to the present. But being open to new ideas, information and people can deliver amazing results, and broaden your perspective. In the big picture, it will make you stronger whenever changes come up.

Letting failure determine the future -  I have known people who moved from one situation to another, and sometimes failed dramatically. But they never accepted failure as the natural course of events.  I have known others who focused so much on failure that it slowed down the present for them.

Letting negative thoughts rule – Have you ever known someone who had brilliant ideas but always saw the downside of a project?  If you find yourself leaning toward the negative, try to flip the page and see the other side. I have watched people who were not quite as creative, do much better than others, simply because they could always see the positive side. When others were hesitating or backing off, she would cut right through, spotting the positives that might work.

Confidence is invaluable in making your world work everywhere you go. Watch what works when you deal with others and watch out for the ones that can sabotage everything you do.


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