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How to Separate Pushy from Pushover

By Sandy Schroeder

Nobody wants to be pushy, or a pushover, but sometimes we wind up doing both. In an effort to stand our ground and not be pushed around, we may become pushy. Or in an effort to be seen as “nice” instead of pushy, we may become a pushover.

Life definitely becomes complicated when we draw lines on being nice, retaining our own identity, and avoiding being too vulnerable. It really requires staying alert and making the effort to get it right.

HuffingtonPost recently listed some of the traits of people-pleasers to avoid.

Being too flexible – If you constantly change your stance to please others, you will not be seen as strong or respected. Sometimes you do need to accept another view, but never standing up for your own views is a big mistake. Make the effort to understand your job and polish your skills so you feel confident in standing by your views.

Being too quick to lean – It’s good to have support systems, but sometimes you will be out there totally on your own and you need to believe in yourself to make that work. Be clear with others stating what you see and what you need. That can create balanced relationships where you both benefit from the interaction.

Not being straight with others – Complimenting someone works when you really mean it and they really deserve it. Relying on a steady flow of compliments to ease your interactions with others seldom works. Keep your relationships honest and enjoy the interactions.

Fumbling feedback – Learn to handle constructive criticism and benefit from it. At the same time, offer your views and thoughts and be prepared to explain them. An active exchange with co-workers may not always be smooth, but it can be healthy if you respect each other.

Lying to get by – Out of fear it’s easy to just go along with other people. Not rocking the boat works, but it will never take you where you want to go. Pay attention, work hard and stick to the subject to voice your views.

Covering every base – Sometimes in an effort to prove how valuable you are on a job it’s tempting to do a little too much. Know who you are, and work hard to sustain your job. Real effort is usually recognized and rewarded.

Say no if you need to – Always saying yes is really a form of deception. Over time others will expect you to say yes, but they probably won’t respect you for it. If you can say yes do so, but make it your choice.

Establishing good interactions with others is an ongoing process. Always approach it with good intentions and then speak up for what you believe. That usually works fairly well.

To learn more about your health, wellness, and fitness, see your local chiropractor at The Joint Chiropractic in San Antonio, Tex.

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