How to Make Confidence an Automatic Reaction
By Sandy Schroeder
If you look very closely, sometimes there is one big difference between the leader at a meeting and the fellow in the back row. That difference is confidence, and the springboard to it is attitude. That guy in the back row may know just as much, but he might need a few pointers to take the lead.
Lifehack explored the issue recently, pointing out how much attitude and confidence have to do with success. It said the way we view ourselves has a lot to do with our confidence level. Believing in yourself as you build up your confidence could make the difference. Here are some more tips:
Avoid doubters – People who always seem to doubt what you are doing can undermine your best efforts. A friend of mine calls them the “Yes, but” group. When you voice an idea, they always chime in with, ”Yes, but.” Always be open to suggestions, but look for people who have positive comments to make, too.
Be able to say no – Sometimes a lack of confidence can encourage people to say yes to everything. Soon they are overloaded, and not really achieving their full potential. Learn to evaluate each suggestion or request as it comes up. Only say yes to the ones you really believe in and want to do.
Dress to express yourself – Just slipping on sweats and plunging ahead when you have a job to do may get the job done, but slipping on a shirt and pants you really love may give you that added boost to do even better. Choose clothes to fit the situation. When you buy new ones, make sure they really please you. What you say and do, and who you really are, count the most, but clothes can provide a great backup. When you pick the right ones they can be one more positive reflection of who you are.
Speak from your base – When you enter a new situation, remember who you are, and bring that confidence of past experience with you. We all have victories that we cherish. Remembering to review them and use them to our advantage in new situations is one more way we can reinforce our confidence level. Think of the people who you know who have achieved the most. Often they have used one successful step to move to many more. Look at what you have done to see how you can use it to move forward.
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