Secret to Happiness? It's All About You
By Sandy Schroeder
Most of us are obsessed about being happy, but real answers that make a difference are rare.
Dr. Travis Bradberry is around people who provide answers that might work. Bradberry, a co-founder of TalentSmart, an agency that services 75 percent of Fortune 500 companies, talked about the view of Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California Riverside psychology professor.
She says we all have a happiness “set point,” that goes up when something good happens, and then returns to normal. Our habits and views can permanently change that “set point.” Fifty percent is genetic, 10 percent chance, and 40 percent wide open, strictly up to us. Start by changing bad habits.
Seen it all attitude – If you have reached the point where nothing impresses you, really thinking about awesome things that you have seen would be wise. When we are awed, it lifts us up and reminds us we are not at the center of the world. It might inspire us to do more.
Always alone – Pulling in and hiding out when you are unhappy is pretty common. But it also cuts you off from the mood-making boost of being with others. Think about how much fun it is to talk to a really good friend, or relax with your family. Then do it – get out there and mingle.
Point the finger – We all learn pretty early how to yell, “He did it!” Going through life blaming others is different. When you credit others for every bad thing, you are saying you have no control. Once you feel that way, life may spiral downward. Take a good look in the mirror to decide how you are going to make life better.
Running the show – Control feels good when you are calling the shots in your own life. If you carry that forward to control others, trouble awaits. You may succeed, but the fact that you probably had to use intimidation and pressure means it will inevitably backfire. Happiness never thrives under the grip of control.
Chipping away – If you spend your life assessing others and putting them down, you may feel smug for awhile, but later you may feel sad and sorry. Look for the good first, not the bad. You will find it, and feel much better.
Showing off – The right look, the coolest car, or the best house may wow people, but it does not mean they will like you. Getting to know people who like you for who you are can create genuine happiness. The drive to acquire may push family and friends away, leaving you with a pile of acquisitions, and nothing more.
Think about your habits and their effects. Then start working on boosting your "setpoint," headed for happiness.
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