Wise Ways to Handle Conflict On the Job
By Sandy Schroeder
We are all individuals and it is not surprising that our views sometimes collide with others. When that happens at work, it can be a puzzle to know what to do next. Do you suffer in silence, or risk the consequences and speak up?
Dr. Travis Bradberry, co-founder of Talentsmart, the agency that services 75 percent of the Fortune 500 accounts, tells us there are ways to speak up and find successful solutions.
Here are some of his suggestions:
Trade brutality for bridges - Sometimes we brood in silence for so long that we totally unload on the other person when we do speak up. That may feel good, but it practically guarantees a stalemate. Building a few bridges by talking about how you feel and suggesting they may have questions too may be a better way to start. Avoiding harsh remarks makes it easier to actually talk about the situation without provoking more anger.
Really listen to what they have to say - When you start to talk about the issue, make an effort to listen to find out what their objections are. Ask them questions about the situation and try to get a feel for what has happened. When someone knows you are listening, they are more apt to listen to you too.
Examine your position - Be willing to step back and study the conflict and see why it came up. When you see both sides, you may spot an area of agreement that could be used to settle the problem. People are often willing to consider solutions, when they feel they have actually been heard.
Consider the consequences - Before you launch into a major complaint consider what may happen if you do or don't speak up. Ask yourself what you have to be gained by speaking up. Ask yourself what you stand to lose if you speak up. Knowing what is likely and where you stand may make it easier to approach the situation calmly, and to be prepared for what can happen.
If you are able to sit down and talk with the other person, you may both walk away with a more satisfying solution. At the same time, that will help if future issues come up. Having achieved a previous solution, and feeling you have an open door will do a lot to solve future problems too.
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