Healthy Ways to Cope with Insecurity & Win
I do not think anyone is 100 percent secure with everything about themselves, but I have met a few people who almost seemed to be. If you sometimes find yourself on the other side of the fence wishing you felt more comfortable, positive or assured, you may just need to consider what the issues are, and realize we all run into this problem sometimes. See if these look familiar to you:
Lifehack says insecure people absolutely hate to be embarrassed. They never want to spill things, trip or look silly. So they wind up living in dread of things happening all of the time. Insecure people also hate the mirror, never believe compliments and do believe everything is a competition.
Sometimes stepping back and really looking at a situation that you wished had turned out differently can give you clues as to when and why you may feel insecure. When you shut down early on an idea because you are not sure, you may wind up watching someone else voice a similar idea and walk off with the win.
When you avoid new gatherings with new people, because you are not sure how you look or what they really think of you, you may find out later it was a great group and you would have loved meeting them. But self doubts about your appearance or worth knocked out the opportunity.
A friend of mine always says, “If you don’t ask the answer is no.” She obviously believes in forging ahead, worried or not. I sometimes remind myself of this quote when I am heading into a tough situation or one where I really do not know what will happen. It helps me keep right on going.
I had a boss some time ago that was a master at this game. He often told me about his own self doubts as we were preparing for meetings, but when it was showtime you would have never guessed they existed. He would enter smiling, sit down and take command. The presentation would roll ahead and the meeting was his. Later he confided that it took him quite awhile to master the confidence game, but the more he used it the more natural it became. It was a little like riding a bike. Once he learned he never forgot.
Mind games on insecurity can improve if you do a little homework too. Think about situations where you had everything come out just right and then see if you can single out the abilities that made it work for you. Then the next time you are doubtful about taking on a situation just run through that list again and forge ahead.
Also it helps as you enter a new situation to consider that the person sitting next to you might feel just as unsure. So put on your best smile and just keep going.
Used under Creative Commons Licensing courtesy of Billie Ward
