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Never Assume in Your Relationship

By Randi Morse 

I had an interaction with a friend recently who left me shaking my head. She came to me and started complaining, non-stop, about her boyfriend. She couldn't believe he had done this, and he'd said that. She was frustrated and "over him," she said. Once she had a few cups of coffee and calmed down, I asked her if she'd told him everything that she'd told me. She looked stunned and said, "well, no, but he should have known! I made it obvious I was upset!"  

This is a problem, and it's one of the big problems that heterosexual partners have. Men and women are vastly different, in a variety of different ways. While she felt she made it clear to him that she was displeased, he may have been at home knowing she was mad but completely unsure what made her mad, which then riled his anger up and before you knew it the two of them were screaming at each other. 

Don't Assume 

Ladies, we need to realize that men are not mind readers. It doesn't matter how long you've been with the same person; they can't read your mind. And frankly, they're not very good at catching hints either. You may have dropped hints here and there about wanting to go on a date. "Look at that restaurant! It would be perfect for date night!" Or "John and Denise go on weekly date nights, that sounds like so much fun!" While these sentences seem perfectly reasonable and make it very clear that she wants to go on a date, in female speak, her husband may not have caught that at all. Firstly, he might have been thinking of something else while she was talking and not paying full attention to her, and secondly, he may think she was just talking to have conversation, completely missing the hints she threw his way. 

Guys are, for the most part, very literal people. They say what they want, when they want to say it, and they expect the same from their partner. When we ask them to guess what we want, we're setting them up for failure. I've been married over 17 years and my husband still needs me to tell him exactly what I want, or what I don't want. It's the big reason I send him grocery shopping with a specific list! 

Guys don't mean to upset women, for the most part, they just have brains that work vastly differently than ours do. In my friend's situation, her boyfriend had no idea that he'd done something to upset her and after they sat down, talked, and made some compromises, they were right as rain. Communication is key to any good relationship, and it's also important to not assume. 

To learn more about your health, wellness and fitness, see your local chiropractor at The Joint Chiropractic in Southlake, Tex.

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