Tips for Healthy Relationships
By Randi Morse
I've been with my husband for more than 20 years, and there is a lot I have learned in those 20 years. I've learned how to communicate better, I've learned how to have more patience, and I've learned how to live with someone. When you are dating someone you don't get to fully experience their personality. During dating, people are often on their best behavior; it's only when you move in together that you discover those little habits the other person has that drive you a little bit insane. If you are finding that your significant other is driving you a little bit crazy, here are a few things that should help.
Get Alone Time
Everyone needs a little alone time now and again, I remember my mother refusing to take me with her to the bank on payday because she cherished those 20 minutes of alone time. Even if you love the person you are with very much, it's vital that you get a little bit of alone time. Alone time allows you to recharge and it allows you miss your partner a bit, so don't feel guilty taking an hour away from your partner every so often.
Communication Tips
Communicating with your spouse can be difficult. Spouses may have a different language than you, even if they speak the same language that you do. What I mean is that everyone grows up in different cultures and different types of homes; one person may have grown up in a home where no one raised their voices and the other may have grown up in a home where raised voices were normal. The partner who grew up in the quieter home may find the louder voice of the other person threatening. To communicate better you need to learn to understand your partner's language. Sit down with your partner and talk about the way you would like to be spoken to and listen to how they would like to be spoken to. My husband and I fought for years simply because he didn't realize that the inflection in your voice can be just as important as the words you say. He learned how to monitor his inflection and I learned how to not assume he meant something simply by his inflection.
Meeting and falling in love with someone is easy, staying together takes work. Don't ever be afraid to take some time for yourself, and make learning to communicate better a priority in your relationship.
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