How to Say No and Mean It
By Sandy Schroeder
Some people know how to say no, and never blink an eye. When the situation calls for a resounding no, they speak up and do just that, but others have more trouble.
If you fall into the other category, you know how saying no can be very hard to do. If I am irritated or out of energy, it is much easier for me to say no, but I often have a lot of trouble in turning people down.
One of my problems occurs because I can always see both sides of an issue. When someone asks for help, I usually know why they ask and want to help. So I step up and figure out how to make things work to help them out. Later, I find myself wondering why I did that as I stretch to make everything happen.
Whatever the reasons you have for not being able to say no, it's a good idea to address the issue and establish a balance.
Start by asking yourself in which situations you don't say no the most and why:
Where Do You Say No the Most
Think about the situations that keep turning up.
- Do you always give in to your family
- Is it hard to say no at work
- Do you hate to turn friends down
- Do you demand more of yourself wherever you are
- Has no become an automatic response as you just keep on giving
Why Do You Find It Hard to Say No
Figure out what is going on.
- Do you expect quite a bit from yourself
- Is saying yes simply a lot easier
- Do you feel you owe a lot to friends and family
- Do you just genuinely want to help
Only you know what the issue means, but your health, well-being and peace of mind really require you to learn how to say no when you need to. I have known many people who could not say no, and most of them were anxious, overworked and fairly unhappy.
MindBodyGreen.com recommends you start working on the issue and learn how to make it stick. They say when you learn how to say no you will find out how great it feels to take power back into your own hands. Suddenly you have time for yourself. You are more relaxed. Life becomes a lot more appealing. You may still be responding with yes's, but only when it works for you.
How to Say No
Here are their tips for saying no.
- Just say no; you don't need to explain
- Establish priorities and stick to them
- Create an automatic no response that makes it as stress-free as possible
- Keep it positive as you remember why you are saying no
- Remind yourself that you count too and enjoy the result
At first it may be hard to keep saying no, but it does get easier as you see the results.
To learn more about your health, wellness and fitness, see your local chiropractor at The Joint Chiropractic in Maple Grove, Minn.