What to Do If You Are Always Angry
By Sandy Schroeder
Sometimes it seems as if your anger has a mind of its own, taking you with it. You know those days, when simple irritations at home or work flare into anger or rage. Figuring out what is happening and what to do next can help you get control of the situation.
Understanding the Problem
New York based psychotherapist, Alison Stone, LCSW, says anger sends a message to the brain about how we see the world. Stone said, "Any excessive negative feeling -- fear, distress, shame, or rejection -- will likely trigger anger." Feeling hurt, ignored, used or betrayed makes us feel vulnerable. The overwhelming impact makes it harder to think clearly to get back to rational ground.
Anger usually links up with stress, creating higher rates of depression and anxiety and making it tougher to stay productive at work and functional at home. Anger also impacts our physical health, increasing our risk of heart disease.
Finding the Answer
Stone recommends these effective methods to let go of anger before it takes over.
Use your breath to regain control - When you are really steamed over something, you may not want to stop, but simply closing your eyes and taking a deep breath will help you slow down. Let your body relax with each breath and let your head clear before you do anything else. Then rejoin the world with a calmer perspective. Avoiding angry outbursts can go a long way to making things work more smoothly. Each time you feel the anger coming on, return to your breath.
Consider meditation - If your anger has become chronic, using a simple meditation can be a counter measure that works as an antidote. If you want to try it, find a quiet spot to sit and focus on your breath as you let your thoughts roll by without judging them. As your mind adjusts to this approach you may see the world in a totally different way. Later you may continue to feel calmer as you move away from the intense focus of anger. If meditation works for you, consider doing a short daily meditation in the morning or evening to help you move further and further away from anger.
See a professional therapist - If anger has been an ongoing problem for some time, you may want to use a psychotherapist to get to the root of your feelings. Talking with a therapist can be a supportive way to explore your feelings and your issues. See your doctor for recommendations to get started.
Talking with a therapist, learning how to use your breath, and meditating can help you take control of your life. Get a grip on your anger now and start enjoying life again.
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