How to Grow Great Kids
By Sandy Schroeder
We all want the best for our kids, and we want to help them find their way in the world. Making that happen can be a tricky path for parents as they look for the best approaches.
Dr. Travis Bradberry, co-founder of TalentSmart, an agency that serves 75 percent of the Fortune 500 companies, recently gave us some suggestions on what to do and what not to do. He says there is no perfect formula, but there are some things that have been proven to work.
Don’t overdo awards – In a competitive society, children may decide life is all about awards. A winning soccer team and a stream of A test scores may become the end goal. Achievement is great but becoming a strong, focused, compassionate person who is honest and courageous can be a lot more important in the long haul. Those qualities are shaped over time when the soccer team wins and loses, and some test scores are better than others. Being accepted for who they are and what they do can teach a child to do their best, and be their best, on every playing field.
Keep praise real – It’s good to encourage a child’s efforts, but be honest as you work with them on their skills. As they improve with daily effort, they will know they have earned your praise.
Teach reality – Let your children encounter success, failure and risk. Jumping in and shielding them from natural consequences won’t help them as they grow up. Learning the joy of winning, and the reality of failure makes both more real. Be there when they need you to talk about what went wrong and what to do next time, teaching them that failure is really part of the game in life.
Be able to say no – It can be all too easy to grant a child’s wishes and watch them enjoy everything, but learning how to wait for things, and work hard for them, can be valuable, too. Use reasonable limits to teach them that life will not always grant their wishes.
Let kids solve their problems – Jumping in to help kids find immediate answers can be very tempting, but not really a wise way to help kids grow. When they actually have to figure out their own solutions and make them work they learn a little each step of the way. That process teaches them how to assess a problem, create an answer, and make it happen. Each time they do that they become a little more skilled.
There’s no perfect rule book for raising kids. Just make sure they know you love them, and always be there for them. They will figure out the rest.
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