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Getting Rid of Relationship Baggage

By Randi Morse 

You've spent what seems to be hours and hours looking for love but have still come up short. You watch as your friends seem to find their perfect partners and you're still single and looking for that certain someone. Why can't you find the love you're looking for? If you're putting yourself out there and are trying to find someone, the problem may be that you have some baggage that is making it difficult for you to open up to others. 

What Kind of Baggage? 

We all have baggage, sometimes from when we were growing up, sometimes it comes along with us from previous relationships. Having baggage isn't going to prevent you from finding a relationship, but not being open because of your baggage might. The first thing you need to do is try to figure out what baggage you're holding on to. Set aside a few hours to sit and think, in quiet, about things that bother you. This exercise works best if you write everything down in a notebook. Write down the things that you think about frequently, or the things that bother you, no matter how small or insignificant you may think they are.  

Once you've written a thorough list, go through and think about each item. Cross off any item that you feel you've dealt with and have no more negative feelings about. The problems that you haven't crossed off are the ones that you'll want to work on.  

Figure it Out 

You then need to figure out how you can prevent the uncrossed-off issues from bothering you, and this is the tricky part. You need to manage your expectations versus what you can achieve. For example, if you're upset at your mother because you feel she didn't support you while you were growing up, you might want an apology. Your mother, however, may not feel the same way, or may be the type of person who has a difficult time apologizing. Manage your expectations by thinking about what you can truly expect from other people. 

Once you've figured out the things that are blocking you from a relationship and have worked through them, try looking for love again! With your heart and head lightening up, you'll be much more open to a relationship and this will show in any interactions that you have with potential partners. It's also important to recognize that other partners may have baggage they bring along with them as well, and if you can help each other work on the history you both bring to the table, you'll start out with a very strong relationship. 

To learn more about your health, wellness and fitness, see your local chiropractor at The Joint Chiropractic in Port Orange, Fla.

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