Finding the Secrets to Self Confidence
By Sandy Schroeder
Nobody feels confident all of the time, but some people definitely have it figured out day-to-day. If you are still looking for ways to be confident when it counts the most, you might want to start with introspection.
Psychologists tell us we have to look to ourselves to find confidence. No matter how many raises, or praises we receive, the real heart of confidence comes from within.
Look to Yourself
Think about the times you have picked yourself up and moved ahead in spite of real losses or setbacks. Each time you do that, you learn that you can survive and thrive. All you have to do is not give up, and keep trying.
If it helps, make a list of the ups and downs you have endured, with the outcomes. Sometimes those scorecards can be pretty amazing.
Look for Role Models
Think about places you have been and things you have learned about confidence. You may have had a strong family, resourceful friends, or valuable co-workers who made the most of what they had to make things happen. Confidence was at work there, too.
I had a friend who started with nothing and built a thriving business, simply by believing that she could do it, and expending the effort to make it happen. Her favorite advice has always been, ”If you don’t ask, the answer is no.”
I worked with a boss who built a leading health center, starting with a small suite of offices. He never gave up or lost his confidence, and one big step led to many more. Countless careers, grants and research achievements all evolved from the center he built.
Realize What It Takes
As you develop confidence from your core, there are more steps to take. Lifehack advises pushing out of your comfort zones. They cite Churchill’s quote, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
Skip taking the easy routes, and challenge yourself to keep stepping up.
Look at your present situation and project where you want to be. Make a list to build on, starting with goals and filling in details with specifics that could make it happen. Then set some dates to start moving your goals forward. Expect detours and detractors, but face the challenge with the same confidence you have used to overcome other situations.
Once you learn the steps to the confidence dance it’s like riding a bicycle. You never really forget.
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