Tips for Men to Keep The Spark Alive in Your Marriage
By Randi Morse
My husband and I have been together over 20 years. When I see that number written down I'll admit that I'm a little bit in shock. I know a number of my friends and classmates who have been unable to have a lasting relationship. A few of my closest friends have told me that they just drifted apart from their spouse, and with our busy lifestyles this isn't a shock. If you've got a career and children and a home to care for, it's easy to put your marital relationship on the back-burner. This is especially true for men.
Men and Relationships
Society expects certain things when it comes to men in relationships, starting at the beginning with the man being expected to ask the woman out. While there are plenty of exceptions to the rule, most men find themselves in the position of being required to "chase" after a woman. Women are raised hearing stories about their family members being wooed by eligible men, and the fairy tale stories and cartoons they watch only push their expectations higher. While this isn't fair to men, it is the world we live in. It's no wonder that women expect men to keep the romance alive later on in the relationship.
Easy Ways to Please
While we could debate for days about the fairness of men having to keep the relationship alive, as with everything in a relationship, it takes two. It's important for both of you to work to keep the spark burning; the good news is that it's generally easy to make your spouse happy. When you were dating, you did things that your significant other really enjoyed. Maybe she liked having flowers delivered to her randomly, or maybe she liked being asked on an impromptu date. Think back to when you first started dating and try to remember the things that she seemed overly impressed with and bring some of that back into your relationship.
Her Needs Now
Pay attention to the needs that she has now. Does she do a good portion of the housework or the meal making? Tell her ahead of time that you're going to take on one or more of her chores for a day. Leave work a bit early, if you can, and tell her that you're going to pick the kids up from school, or that you're going to handle dinner. The phrase, "see a need, fill a need" is something that works beautifully in life, even in a relationship. Look to see what needs she has now and do what you can to fill them.
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