What to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed
By Sandy Schroeder
We have all had that sinking feeling when too many demands collide all at once. If you have a family, a job, and other interests, juggling everything may not always work out. Or illness, changes in finances and outside issues may simply make normal routines difficult. If the issues are beyond your control, stay calm and work your way through the situation. Find good resources and get good answers until you restore order.
On the other hand, if you feel overwhelmed and need to regain personal control, there may be issues such as codependence, people-pleasing, or lack of boundaries involved.
Sharon Martin, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist who helps overstressed, high achieving adults, and teens work through these issues.
Understanding Codependency
Martin says, “Codependents tend to be caregivers, problem-solvers, and ultra-responsible people. We’re hypervigilant, always on the lookout for potential problems so we can avert disaster. We take on other people’s problems, too.”
Martin says codependents may actively intervene in other people’s lives or only relax when those around them are taken care of.
Creating Boundaries
Martin says, “Boundaries create a healthy physical and/or emotional separation between you and other people. When you don’t have clear boundaries you may absorb other people’s feelings and problems and feel responsible for fixing them.”
Martin says a lack of boundaries can make you overreact or underreact. When you draw boundaries you can protect yourself from toxic people and insulate yourself from negative situations. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, you may be able to relax and just be able to enjoy daily interactions minus the added stress and tension. Here are some healthy ways to draw the lines.
- Leave situations that are damaging to you
- Tell people how you want to be treated
- Be aware of your own feelings and be OK with them
- Say no if you don’t want to or don’t have the resources
- Allow others to make their own decisions
- Make self-care a priority to maintain balance
- Don’t try to retrieve, fix or change situations for others
- Develop trust before you share information
- Speak up about your needs and feelings
- Work on your own goals and interests
- Create personal space and privacy
If you can relate to the issues of co-dependency or boundaries, you may want to see your doctor for recommendations for a counselor to help sort out the issues.
To learn more about your health, wellness, and fitness, see your local chiropractor at The Joint Chiropractic in McKinney, Tex.